It's almost over. The skinning marring of Frank Gehry's IAC HQ, that is. And good lord is that one hella funky curtain wall. Which isn't always such a bad thing. But let's just say it hasn't grown on us yet.

· Bad Skin Mars Gehry's NYC Debut [The Gutter]
· IAC HQ [WATPA?]
· The 21st Century Refinery of West Chelsea [Curbed]

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As our quarter-brother once removed pointed out earlier this week, there's been a bit of a trend of Times-on-Hearst love. Unusual for warring media factions but, as we have reiterated time and time and time again, our deepest concerns lie with Architecture. And what Nicolai is doing to the poor thing. Today, he adds another blowjob-by-way-of-bashing-Skidmore to the growing list of Foster-lovin' sloppiness. And is it ever sloppy:

Norman Foster's new Hearst Tower arrives just in time, slamming through the malaise like a hammer. Past and present don't fit seamlessly together here; they collide with ferocious energy. This 46-story tower may be the most muscular symbol of corporate self-confidence to rise in New York since the 1960's.

· Norman Foster's New Hearst Tower Rises from 1928 Base [NYT]
· Norman Foster Enjoys His First New York Moment With the Hearst Tower [NYT]
· Hearst's New Home: Xanadu in Manhattan [NYT]

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The trials and tribulations of the Times tower having been thoroughly taken to task, we find ourselves once again compelled to pass on this latest takedown of the increasingly over-obvious Piano-love on the part of our little local rag. Last time, it was—somewhat understandably—RoPog. This time, Nicky's joined the fray. A Dear Reader close reads:

In this Sunday's Times, Nicolai Ouroussoff slips onto the Piano bench and plays a few more variations on the theme. In "Skyline for Sale," Ouroussoff meditates on the perennial dilemma of the Faustian architect, this time using Frank Gehry's partnership with Bruce Ratner (Atlantic Yards, Beekman Street Tower) as the main object lesson.

Of course, when you're writing for the Times and you're writing about Bruce Ratner, you don't get too far without mentioning Renzo Piano. To wit: "For the Times tower [Ratner] selected Mr. Piano's design over more predictable proposals by Cesar Pelli and Norman Foster...A soaring glass structure clad in a pattern of delicate ceramic rods, the Times project suggests that the old order that dominated development in New York for so long is finally passing, and with it the argument that only big corporate firms -- not 'dreamers' or 'creative types' -- could get things done."

But the Times tower design is a partnership between Piano and FXFowle. That would be FXFowle, the "big corporate firm." So Piano is not "getting things done" on his own -- not at the Times, at least, where the "old order" is obviously very much alive. Ouroussoff never mentions any of this.

Rather, he seems more interested in depicting Piano as the Sensitive Artist suffering the cruel cuts of the Big Bad Developer:

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It's official. New York City, the heart and soul of America, has no national monuments or icons. Commercial targets? Yes, aplenty. Critical transport nodes? Sure. But the Department of Homeland Security, in calculating the curious outlay of anti-terror dollars that has the whole city, and especially The Post, in a right flivver, has determined that, because Gotham has zero—zero!—true symbols of the red, white and blue, it will have its funding cut by 40%. Best reason yet to build Freedom Tower. And quick.

· ASININE POLS CAN'T ASSESS 'ASSETS' [NYP]

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You know how we hate to pile on. It's not our way. But we would be remiss if we did not direct you to the punchy little Gehry hate-fest in plucky (and pocket-sized!) L Magazine.

I have always loved Frank Gehry....But that's all over now. The scales have fallen from my eyes. I have seen the feet of clay. And I am very, very sad.

In other news therein, "Rem Koolhaas is working on a Puppy."

· Bridezilla Hits Brooklyn [L]
· Frank Gehry Presents: Atlantic Yards Mad-Libs! [The Gutter]
· Voodoo Alert: Gehry Inspired by the Brooklyn Bridge [The Gutter]
· On the Gehry Front in Brooklyn: Ceci Tuera Cela [The Gutter]
· The Gutter Salutes: Dr.Frankengehry [The Gutter]

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The Bitter Realist surfaces from a self-imposed bitter slumber to point out the latest faux pas in a series of same in New York's futurama.

Anyhoo, as we scoured New York Magazine's preview of the destruction that designers will wreak upon our fair city over the next decade, we noticed a fantastic little rendering from the incestuous clan over at SHoP, depicting the new East River waterfront, chinaman with bird cage and all. We just love cultural stereotypes. Where's the black guy with a boom box, the Puerto Rican with the flag-do-rag, the gay guy with a wifebeater and cutoff jean shorts? Doesn't anyone at SHoP know how to search Google Images? What city do those clowns live in?

· New York Magazine Owns New York. In 2016. [The Gutter]
· The Future of New York City [New York]

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We are not going to take too much pleasure in doing this. But it ain't gonna sting bad neither. Yesterday, our estranged half-steps at Curbed (Happy Birthday!) scored a major coup, echoed below, in unleashing on the world the first public images of yet another turgid Gehry planned for Our Fair Metropolis. The tower at 200 Beekman (or is it 8 Spruce?) has long fascinated those easily fascinated by such things, but the question of what it would look like—it's a fucking Gehry building!—was not at the fore. Still, we found their enthusiasms infectious, charming, even, in their own way. But they were misplaced—it looks like a fucking Gehry building!—and now, we find, through the magic of opening our morning mail (no, Foster, not now; set it up in the solarium) that the renderings are out of date. A trusted source of the highest breeding and moral fibre advises us that an equally trusted and well-respected birdie tweets that, in the former's words:

"Those pics are really old, apparently. Like two years old. And the design has, apparently, 'changed.' Don't you guys fact check over there anymore? Mind the store!"

Um. Source? We know you're having a bad month year. So we won't pile on.

UPDATE: Never mind. Knew he was shitcanned for a reason: our source whiffed it. Curbed—this really hurts—got it right. Happy Birthday!

· BREAKING CURBED EXCLUSIVE: Gehry/Ratner Renderings! [Curbed]
· Breaking: Gehry and Ratner, Sitting in a Town... [The Gutter]

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It's official: mommy loves our stepbrother better. Breaking, just now, our archenemy has, through an intricate process of favors promised and promises favored, wrangled access to the first-ever Gehry/Ratner Beekman Street renderings.

Dear Readers, as you're starting to learn we'll forever say, it is—as always—all about the cock.

· BREAKING CURBED EXCLUSIVE: Gehry/Ratner Renderings [Curbed]

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In an atypically anti-depressive moment, Herman Melville once wrote, as you'll no doubt recall, "When we live life, it is enough; no foe conceived deters us from that bounty." And in HM's words we place full trust. As we should. Because it's the god-awful truth. Still, we know you miss us when our lives are elsewhere. So we thought it appropriate to check in: a small kindness that you have well earned. If you're interested in whatever it is the Times spat out of College Point for yesterday's perusal, our colleagues have done a bang-up post on same; if you're interested in whatever went down at the Architectural League's Beaux-Arts Ball, we suggest you ask the belle of the ball himself; if you're interested in on-the-spot reportage from tonight's 7 World Trade opening bash, ask us later; if you're interested in the ICFF....Moving on, if you're interested in whatever wonders befell the elect who attended Dan-yell Libeskind's surprise 60th birthday party on Friday, you'll have to read the hilariously cloying account already printed in some Canadian paper; we sent a crack team—and an army of backups!—but they are all being remarkably reticent. Or maybe they just haven't woken up.

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Forget the belated bleatings of two remorseful WTC memorial jurors (it's all your fault). Forget for a moment that Governor Pataki has casually reinstalled our boy Kevin Rampe at the LMDC—give 'em hell, Kev!—to replace outgoing freedom fighter and Spitzer prey John Whitehead. The real news in the Times today is the casual installation of Frank Sciame as construction czar and fixer-at-large for the memorial. Because who better to get the budget down below $1 billion than the guy who's still trying to sell a dozen $29 million "townhouses" a few blocks away?

· Governor Names a Replacement Official...[at] Ground Zero [NYT]

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